Flying somewhere new is one of the most exciting things in the world…for about 15 minutes. Sometimes you’re lucky and there will be movies on the entertainment system that you’ve been desperate to watch for months or, even luckier, you’ll have half a G&T and fall asleep for the entire journey.
But sometimes, just sometimes, you’ll be really unlucky and end up stuck next to one of these 5 people you don’t want to sit with on a plane.
This is for everyone who has ever sat next to a nightmare passenger during a flight…
The kicker is usually about 3 feet tall with legs at the perfect length to swing them into the back of your chair for the entire duration of the flight. He’s old enough that his parents have given up on telling him off, but young enough for you to feel uncomfortable shouting at him like a crazy person and demanding for him to stop.
You turn around a few times and ask him to stop, smiling politely at his parents in a bid to win them over. He stops kicking just long enough for you to get comfortable and begin to doze off. And then he begins again.
What’s worse than someone falling asleep on your shoulder during a flight?
Someone falling asleep on your shoulder and snoring so loudly into your ear that you’re momentarily deafened with each plane-shuddering rumble.
We will admit it, the snorer is quite funny at first. We giggle as the first few snorts emerge from their nose or mouth but after three hours of snoring it really isn’t that funny any more.
We usually find that an ‘accidental’ elbow nudge does the trick to wake up a snorer and give you enough time to fall asleep in silence.
Let’s be honest, we all like a tipple on the plane. You’re going on holiday and getting into the relaxed vibe with a few beers, a glass of wine or a refreshing G&T. You may even have some bubbles in the airport to start your holiday in style.
Unfortunately, there’s always one person who takes the free bar a little too far and halfway through the flight you realise they’re roaring drunk. They’re shouting at the cabin crew, shouting at the TV screen, shouting at their fellow passengers or, worst of all, singing at the top of their lungs.
Did you know that while you fly, the higher altitude causes the gut to create more sulphuric acid, which in turn causes us to emit proportionally more ‘gas’ than we would on the ground? Yes, that explains a lot, doesn’t it?
And when you put 500 people in a confined space with all this extra gas being emitted it’s unsurprising that planes can be pretty stinky places. Thankfully, most people are able to either hold in their gas or release it in the toilets, but there are always a few who will leave you gagging and desperate for some fresh air. You really do not want to sit next to this passenger.
Finally, the chatterbox is the least offensive of all passengers; they just want to talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. This is usually fine for an hour or two; after all, meeting new people while you travel is all part of the experience and planes can be a great place to get travel tips and make new friends. But after a few hours you just want to sleep or read or watch a film or stare idly into space without making small talk…sadly, this chatterbox definitely won’t let that happen.
We recommend an eye mask and noise cancelling headphones for these situations!
There you have it, the five most annoying people to sit next to on a plane. If you can think of any more annoying passengers, let us know in the comments below!